Ghost Rider
by PhantomAL
Summary: DPCity Slickers crossoverparody. A 15 year old depressed Danny goes on a class feild trip to a cattle drive in Colorado, and he discovers friendship, secrets, and a newfound love. DxS
1. October 13th, 1990

Ok, here's my NEW parody! I've been planning this one for a long time. Although, since I can only pick 2 genres. But this thing is many genres in one. So, here the whole thing. Humor/Romance/Parody. So, here ya go!

PhantomAL

* * *

Ghost Rider

Chapter 1

October 13th, 1990

(Danny's POV)

"Sam, I've been waiting to tell you this for a long time" I said, holding her hand.

"What?" she said, holding mine.

"Sam…I love you"

She put her soft, warm hand on my cheek.

"I love you too, Danny"

Our faces got closer and closer and closer, until…

* * *

…_Dirty Deeds…DONE DIRT CHEAP! Dirty Deeds…DONE DIRT CHEAP!_

My eyes suddenly snapped open to the blaring noise of AC/DC.

"Dammnit" I cursed under my breath. "Even in my dreams…"

Yes, I was in love with Sam, my best friend since kindergarten. And, these dreams have NOT been ending. Jesus, I can't even go 5 seconds without thinking about her. Plus, today was something very important. Something so important that I was stupid enough to set my alarm this early.

"6:00" I said grimly. "Why 6?"

My cell phone then rang. You see, I set my phone to ring different rings for different people. "It's All About the Pentiums" by "Weird AL" for Tucker, "Weird Science" by Oingo Boingo for my parents, and "She's A Rebel" by Green Day for Sam. Guess who it was?

"Hey, Danny" I heard a familiar female voice greet.

"Hey, Sam" I said, smiling. 'Why'd you call me this early?"

"You do know what day this is, right?" she asked.

"Thursday. My most hated of days. Why?"

"It's October 13th. If I remember things correctly, today's your 15th birthday."

MY BIRTHDAY! Holy crap, it is my birthday!

"Whoa, thanks Sam! I completely forgot. That's why I like you. You're always there to help"

I could almost feel the blush on her face from the other side of the line.

"Oh, come on" she said. "I'm not that smart and helpful"

"Lie" I said. "Can you imagine how life would be without you? Well, I actually went through that. Remember last year?"

"Yes, Danny" Sam said. "I remember. And I apologize for starting that fight."

"Sam, it's been 1 year. Besides, I'm the one who started it, by making you angry and obsessing about Paulina. Which is gonna change."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Think of it as MY present to YOU. I'm completely over Paulina. And I'm glad that I am."

"You did that for me?" she asked.

"Anything for you, Sam"

"Thanks, Danny" Sam said sweetly. "So, the party's still on for tonight, right?"

"Of course it is. You'll be there, right?"

"Aren't I always there?" she asked. "I'll be there after school to help prepare"

"Oh, come on Sam" I said. "You don't have to do that for me"

"I want to"

"Alright…" I said. "But my parents aren't gonna be home. So, don't blame me if they come home and find you here"

"Eh, all parents are the same. So, I'll see you at school?"

"Sure, see ya there. Bye."

"Bye, Danny. Happy Birthday"

I then heard a faint click on the other side of the phone. I then hang up.

_Man, I'm so lucky to have a great friend like her._ I thought.

* * *

I then got ready for school. Over the year, my look had somewhat changed. My hair had gotten longer, I've gotten taller, and I've quite grown physical wise. I went from being a scrawny 9th grader, to a 10th grader with a six-pack. Although I've caught the eyes of most of the girls, there was only one for me. After getting ready for school and daydreaming about Sam, an hour went past. Guess which task took longer?

I got on the bus and sat down. After like 5 minutes, I dozed off to la-la-land. Even though waking up at 6 was a little late for me, I was still tired and bushed from the extensive ghost fighting that went on the night before.

10 minutes went by, and I suddenly felt a presence near me. I opened one eye and saw the blurred vision of Sam.

"Hey" I said, half asleep.

"Hey" she said back. "Rough night?"

"You have NO IDEA" I said. "I think I'm in need of some help. Wanna trade places? I'll be the Goth, and you'll be the ghost kid?"

She laughed. She liked me because I made her laugh. Even the non-funny jokes made her laugh. I had a sneaking feeling that she liked me the same way back. But, I was just gonna wait for the right moment to let her know about my feelings.

"Not to sound mean," she said, "but you wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of being a Goth"

"Like what?" I said.

"Black clothes" she said.

"I can do that"

"Unhappy disposition of the world"

"I could handle that"

She then smiled evilly. "Dark poetry revealing life's dark truth"

I then widened my eyes.

"I'm not that creative" I said sheepishly.

"I win" she said. "You owe me a dollar"

"It's my birthday" I said. "Shouldn't you be giving me something?"

"You're right, Danny" she said. "How about I let you sleep the rest of the bus ride?"

"Thanks, Sam" I then went back to sleep. As I slept, I felt myself laying my head on Sam's shoulder. Instead of pushing me off herself, she laid her head on mine. I then felt my hand covered by hers.

_If this is a dream, then I sure as hell wish it doesn't end.

* * *

_

Sure enough, all good things must come to an end. The bus stopped causing Sam and I to wake up. When we realized how close we were to each other, we blushed hard and got up and left.

Classes dragged on as usual. For some strange reason, I was depressed today. Of all days, my birthday, I was depressed. Sam kept asking me what was wrong, and I said that it was nothing, even though that she was the reason why. I was depressed because I loved Sam. Some people said that love can make you depressed at the beginning, but these feelings have been with me for almost 3 years. And here I am, still getting the full frontal of the depressed stage.

After the class ended, I just sat there while everyone else left. Mr. Lancer then walked over to me.

"Is something troubling you, Daniel?" he said.

I then took a deep breath and spoke.

"Do you ever say to yourself, 'this is the best I'm ever gonna do. This is the best I'm ever gonna look. This is the best I'm ever gonna feel", and it ain't that great?"

"Happy Birthday" Mr. Lancer said, like he knew where I was getting at.

"Thanks" I said.

"Now seriously, Daniel" he said. "What's on your mind? Family problems? Puberty? A girl?"

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"Yes it is" he said. "To 99 percent of the student body"

"Who's the other 1 percent?"

"Sam"

I then slumped down in my chair. "Well what should I do? If I tell her how I feel about her, that might ruin our friendship. I don't want that to happen."

"Don't worry about it" Mr. Lancer said. "Besides, I have a feeling in about a few days you'll know the right time to tell her."

"What happens in a few days?" I asked.

"You'll find out later" he said. "Now, I don't want you to be late for your next class. Hurry up."

As I walked out I looked back at Mr. Lancer.

"Thanks a lot" I said smiling.

"Hey, I went through the same things you're going through when I was your age"

"Not exactly" I said.

_One clueless person down, an entire town to go…

* * *

_

School came and went, as usual. I went home with Sam, who agreed to help me to set up the party. While we walked home, our hands brushed together. We looked at each other and blushed. We made our way back to my house and got ready. Sam got the living room ready with the music and drinks. I got all the food ready. The final touch was to turn on the ghost shield around the house, so that there would be NO INTERRUPTIONS. And just for the record, Sam picked out some good music. R.E.M., Green Day, Good Charlotte, and even some "Weird AL" Yankovic. Yes, she was somewhat of a fan. I have no idea why.

A few hours later, people started to come over. We've invited everyone from our class. Now, while most of them did NOT come to the party because they liked me, but come ON! Who can resist FREE FOOD! Even Dash came. For some strange reason, he was actually pretty friendly to me. Come to think about it, I've barely seen him at all at the party.

I was sitting down enjoying the music and not being bullied by Dash, when Sam and Tucker came over.

"Some party, huh?" I said.

"Come on, Dan" Sam said. "At least enjoy your own birthday party"

"You know" I said. "I wish I could. But I've got a lot of stuff going on in my mind right now."

"Well" Tucker began. "I got you something to cheer you up"

Tucker got out a small rectangle shaped box. I opened it up and it revealed a large DVD box set.

"The complete Kevin Smith collection: from Clerks to Jersey Girl!" I said. "Thanks, Tuck"

"No problem" he said. "Now, I believe that it's Sam's turn to dish out the crap"

Sam elbowed Tuck in the stomach. She then handed me a large book. I opened it up and I saw pictures of Sam, Tuck, and I. Some of them were of just Sam and I which made me blush.

"Just something I've put together over the years" she said, blushing. "I even found the picture of the day you and I met"

I looked down and saw the picture of me and Sam when we were in kindergarten. She looked so cute back then. Then I looked at me. My pants were caught in a tree branch. I fell down and lost my pants. Even back then I was a klutz.

"This is awesome" I said. "Thanks, Sam."

"You're welcome" she said.

* * *

Almost out of nowhere, Paulina came up to us. And she looked worried.

"Danny" she said. "Have you seen Dash anywhere? He said he'd meet me here, and I haven't seen him all night"

"Well" I said. "I'm sure he'll turn up"

Paulina then walked away. She walked over to the closet to look for Dash. Sure enough…

"AHHH!" she squealed.

Everyone then turned their attention over to the closet. Inside was Dash… making out with another girl. Paulina grabbed Dash by the arm.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, jerk!" she screamed.

"Uh…I…well…" Dash stuttered.

"Hey mellow out" the girl said. "Dash said he needed to expand his horizons. And so he did."

I saw Dash with a look I've barely seen him use before: the look of knowing when you were in deep shit.

"Well" Paulina said. "I'm calling my father to let him know about this!"

I suddenly saw Dash with the look of anger.

"Yeah, call him!" he yelled. "He can discuss it with all the other Nazi's in your family!"

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed, running out the door.

"I HATE YOU MORE!" he yelled back at her. "IF HATE WERE LAND, I'D BE EUROPE!"

Dash then turned around to see a scared looking crowd of once-merry partygoers. Everyone stared at him with a shocked look on their faces.

"Let's bring out the cake" I said, trying to act cheerful.

_Happy Birthday to me…

* * *

How was THAT? Well read and review. NO FLAMES!  
Keep on keeping on  
PhantomAL_


	2. Friends, Feild Trips, and One Last Gift

Well, well, welly welly well... Another chapter. Not much to say, except...well, keep reading to find out whats going on with not only Danny...but me.  
PhantomAL

* * *

Chapter 2

Friends, Field Trips, and One Last Gift

After a few hours the party ended and everyone left…well, almost everyone. Dash was sitting on the couch, looking quite sad. I walked over to him carefully and quietly. Now I knew that he wouldn't kill me at a time like this. Nevertheless, I wanted to keep all of my bones in tact.

"How's it going?" I asked him.

"How do you think?" he told me. "Do you even know what happens to a popular kid when he or she does something like this?"

"No" I said. "What happens?"

"They get thrown out of the circle. That means that that person is no longer popular. That person isn't even a noticeable person anymore. They become…one of the unpopular kids."

"Welcome to the club" I said, extending my hand. I eased back, expecting him to pull my arm behind my back and twist it. However, I felt my hand being shaken.

"Well," Dash said, "I guess I'm one of you guys now. So, how about it? Can a be one of your…"

"My…?" I said, knowing what was coming. I also knew that this last word was going to take every ounce of energy in Dash's body to say.

"…friend?" he finally finished.

* * *

_Friend? _I thought. _He tortures me since kindergarten, and now he wants to be friends? Oh, hell. What am I doing? This poor sap is at the end of his rope. Eh, I'll give it a shot. _

"Fine" I finally said. "On one condition."

"What?" he asked, puzzled.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching. The room was clear except for Sam and Tuck, who apparently were shocked that Dash had now became one of our friends. But they were more shocked of what I was about to do.

I closed my eyes and went ghost, in front of Dash. After I did, I looked at Dash, who had an unreadable expression on his face. It was a mix of fear, realization, and…well that's just about it.

"On the condition that you don't tell anyone that I'm half-ghost" I said.

I saw Dash, gasping for air.

"You-you're Inviso-Bill?" he finally said.

"Man, I'm so sick of that stupid name." I said. "It's Danny Phantom"

"H-how did this happen?" he asked.

"Long story short: my parents created a portal to go into the Ghost Zone. It didn't work, so I went in to see what was wrong. I accidentally pressed the "On" switch in the portal, and, well here I am now."

"Wow" he said. "And nobody knows but Sam and Tucker?"

"And you" I said. "Promise not to tell?"

"Like anyone's gonna listen to me NOW" Dash said. "You picked the perfect time to tell me. Well, at least we'll probably be in the same group together for the field trip tomorrow."

My eyes then widened.

"What field trip?" I asked.

"The cattle drive field trip in Colorado" Dash said. "Didn't you hear?"

"No" I said. I then turned around to Sam and Tucker who had sheepish looks on their faces. Tucker was the first to speak.

"I better take Dash home" Tuck said. "Some man to man talk"

"You don't have a car" I said.

"Yeah, but Dash does" he said, walking out the door with Dash. I then turned around to see Sam looking down at the ground.

* * *

"I was gonna tell you a week ago" she said. "But you've been to busy with ghost fighting lately, I haven't had the time to tell you. And I've been holding out on this for a week now and I haven't told you when I had the chance. You must think I'm a lousy friend."

"Sam" I said. "I would NEVER think that way about you. I understand why you couldn't tell me, and it was my entire fault. I've been too damn busy that I couldn't pay attention to the most important things going on in my real life…like you."

Sam then blushed hard at that last part. She then smiled a sweet smile that was too big for her face.

"Aw, Danny" she said. "That was sweet. Do you really mean that?"

"Yes, Sam" I said. "Every word of it"

She then walked up to me and did the unthinkable. She kissed me lightly on the lips. I hesitated but lightly kissed her back. When we pulled apart, we could only look at each other.

"Thanks, Danny."

"Thank you, Sam" I said. "So are you going on the trip too?"

"Of course" she said. "Oh, damn. I have to go."

"Ok, Sam. Bye" I said.

"Bye, Danny." she said. "Oh wait"

She turned around and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Danny" she said.

"Thanks, Sam"

And with that she left. Once the door closed, I fell down on the couch with a goofy smile on my face.

* * *

_Happy Birthday to me. _I thought. _I guess I should probably get packing. _

I walked upstairs and started to pack.

_A cattle drive. Why a cattle drive? An overnight camp I could understand, but a cattle drive? In Colorado? Wait a minute… Lancer said that in a few days I'll know when to tell Sam about my feelings. He was hinting towards the field trip. That's what he meant. Fenton, you magnificent bastard! You've figured out the riddle. You deserve a nap. _

And with that, I plopped down on the bed, thinking about the events that happened today: the Kevin Smith collection, Sam's photo album, Dash becoming one of us, and of course, my first real kiss from Sam. Man, today was a great day. However, if I knew what was going to happen later on in the upcoming weeks, then I would've stayed home.

* * *

Well, look at me! I just updated! Whee! I bet you're wondering why I'm so damn happy today. Well, I'll tell you why: my best friend admitted to me that she likes me! Whoo-hoo! I am AL, hear me rock! So, read and review please. NO FLAMES! Because if I see a flame… (pulls out giant wooden board with nails in it)…I'll be prepared…

PhantomAL


	3. The Friggin Soundtrack

You guessed it! It's time for the soundtrack!  
PhantomAL

* * *

Ghost Rider soundtrack

For Those About to Rock, We Salute You- AC/DC

Holiday In My Head- Smashmouth

Save A Horse, Ride a Cowboy- Big & Rich

Smoke On The Water- Deep Purple

Sweet Home Alabama- Lynyrd Skynyrd

Dirty Deeds Done Cheap- AC/DC

Girls of Summer- Aerosmith

More Than A Feeling- Boston

I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead- "Weird AL" Yankovic

Bad Day- R.E.M.

Spirit In the Sky- Kentucky Headhunters

Blue Collar Dollar- Jeff Foxworthy/ Bill Engvall

Immigrant Song- Led Zeppelin

I Fought the Law (And I Won) - The Dead Kennedys

Rock 'N' Roll High School- The Ramones

Eat the Rich (A/N: One of my nationAL anthems) - Aerosmith

Bedrock Anthem- "Weird AL" Yankovic

Rocks and Trees- The Arrogant Worms

Gimme Three Steps- Lynyrd Skynyrd

Whiplash- Metallica

Thunderstruck- AC/DC

Holiday- Green Day

Kick My Ass- Big & Rich

Hotel California- The Eagles

Fight- No Vacancy

Eyes Down- The Eels

Why Does This Always Happen To Me? - "Weird AL" Yankovic

Hell's Bells- AC/DC

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing- Aerosmith

Night Of The Living Rednecks- The Dead Kennedys

Pain- Jimmy Eat World

Addicted- Simple Plan

Love Train (theme from Blue Collar TV) - Big & Rich

Big Fat Road Manager- The Arrogant Worms

Another One Rides the Bus- "Weird AL" Yankovic

Deuces Are Wild- Aerosmith

Heal Me; I'm Heartsick- No Vacancy

Holiday In Cambodia- The Dead Kennedys

Can't Even Tell- Soul Asylum

T.N.T. - AC/DC

Genius In France- "Weird AL" Yankovic

My Brain Is Hanging Upside-Down- The Ramones

Desensitized- Green Day

Here I Am- The Explosion

TV Eye- Wylde Ratttz

The Star-Spangled Banner/ 4th of July Reprise- Lynyrd Skynyrd

Fallin' In Love (Is Hard on the Knees) – Aerosmith

Nature Trail to Hell- "Weird AL" Yankovic

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (Hillbilly Tribute to AC/DC) - Hayseed Dixie

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life- Monty Python

* * *

See? I updated twice in one day! You give me prize now. Man, I think this one is almost better for the one for "Halfa's Guide". If so, then listen to all of these frickin awesome songs!  
PhantomAL


	4. The Chess Game Between Heart and Head

I have nothing to say. Except, ENJOY!

PhantomAL

* * *

Chapter 3

The Chess Game Between Heart and Head

(Danny's POV)

The next day, the class boarded busses to the airport. At the airport, me, Sam, Tuck, and Dash walked together. We got some evil looking glares from Paulina and her cronies, but we just didn't look at them.

As soon as we got to the gates and unloaded our luggage, we started to walk in. Well, at least most of us started to walk in. I just saw Sam standing still.

"Sam?" I asked of her. "Are you alright?"

"Yea- no" she said. "I'm a…little afraid of flying"

"Sam" I said. "You fly with me all the time, and I never drop you"

"Yeah" she said. "That's because I trust you that you would never let me fall. Plane pilots on the other hand…"

I then shook my head, and held Sam's hand. I saw her blush.

"If it'll make you feel any better" I said, "I'll sit next to you to 'keep you safe'"

"Thank you, Danny" she said, smiling. "This means a lot. I'm just scared is all"

"Hey" I said. "Everyone's afraid of something. You just need help conquering the fear. And I'm here to help"

She then smiled.

"Thanks, Danny" she said, not letting go of my hand.

"That's what I'm here for" I said, not letting go of her hand.

We then walked through the door, hand in hand. Not paying any attention to any of the jerks smirking at us.

* * *

The in-flight movie on the plane was "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey". Half-way through the movie I heard Paulina say to the girl next to her: "You know that's not that dog's real voice". The person behind her got mad and said: "Thanks for spoiling the movie for everybody else!" My God, how they made it to 10th grade I'll never know.

I was too busy to pay attention to the movie though. Because, Sam was asleep in her chair. She looked so peaceful and cute. She also looked cold. It was freezing on the plane, and the stewardess on the plane did not give out blankets. Poor Sam. I decided the only thing to do was to pull up the arm-rest and as soon as I did, Sam's body fell on mine. I blushed, but pulled her over. Her head rested on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. I instantly saw her "freezing cold" face go from a frown to a sweet, content, warm smile.

The coldness must've gone to my head, because I then saw two hallucinations in the aisle. Both looked like me. However, one had a huge brain where my hair should me. And the other had a red shirt on and heart-shaped boxers on. Right away I realized they were my sub-conscious: my heart and my brain. And they were both sitting down playing a game of chess.

"Well, here we are again" the brain said in an English version of my voice.

"Yep" the heart said in my normal voice. "Been playin' this game since last year's dance. And not one of us has won"

"Today we shall find out who does" the brain said. "Let the best organ win"

I sat there with a sleeping Sam in my arms watching my two main organs duke it out in a chess game. This was gonna be fun…

* * *

Meanwhile…

Tucker and Dash were sitting a few rows behind us. And Dash was looking at us.

"They really like each other, don't they?" Dash said.

"You don't know the half of it" said Tuck. "I could tell you some very funny and interesting stories"

"Like what?"

"Remember about a year ago when Ember came to town?" Tucker began.

"Yeah" Dash said. "Why?"

"Well…"

* * *

Back to the chess game…

The chess game between my heart and brain was still going on. And my brain was losing.

"What's the matter brain?" my heart said with an evil grin. "Wearing out?"

The brain was getting more and more transparent by the minute.

"No" it said.

"Well" my heart said. "Wanna look next to you?"

My brain looked right at me and Sam.

"Oh, damn" my brain said in an English accent. He then began to cough.

"Hey, Brain" my heart said.

"What?" my Brain said.

My heart then got the knight to the other side of the board.

"Checkmate" said my heart.

"Shit" said my brain. He then started to disappear more. "No, you need me! A person cannot live on the heart alone! Damn you! Damn-"

POOF

My brain then leaned back and put his feet on the chess table, relaxing.

"Idiot" my heart said. Then he disappeared too.

Right on time too, because I heard a voice over the loudspeaker.

"Folks" the pilot said. "We are now landing at the New Mexico National Airport. We hope you have a safe time here."

Sam was still asleep. I shook her gently.

"Sam" I whispered. I then stroked her hair, shaking her a little harder.

Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled, but instantly blushed when she saw the position we were in. But she didn't move.

"Did I survive the flight?" she said, laughing.

"Don't worry" I said. "I was here to 'protect' you."

"Thanks, Danny" she said. She then kissed me on the cheek. I'm starting to get used to this. She then walked out.

"Nice one, dude" Tucker said, walking up behind me.

"What?" I said, trying my best to create an excuse. "She looked cold, so I wanted to warm her up."

"Whatever" Dash said.

So, we walked off the plane into the New Mexico Airport. Onto two weeks of driving cattle. I was actually very excited. But things were gonna get weird. And as weird as my life was already, I had no idea what I was in store for…

* * *

Finally! I got this chapter done! Well, read and review. And everyone who reviewed "Dear Sam", thanks. Your reviews made me feel better. Eh, Margaret and I are going through some tough times. Nothing sick or perverted, just that we're sort of questioning our relationship a little. But don't worry, things are gonna turn out alright. So, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. READ AND REVIEW!

PhantomAL


	5. Walkin' Funny

Whoo, been a while, huh? Well, here ya go!

PhantomAL

* * *

Chapter 4

Walkin' Funny

(Danny's POV)

Well, we finally made it. New Mexico. The place where we would be going on our long 2 week journey driving cattle to Colorado. I was actually very interested about this trip. Maybe it was the fact that Sam was on the trip with me, or the fact that I was going to be a real cowboy for 2 weeks, I didn't care.

So, we were at the Rusty Cactus Ranch in New Mexico. It was a large barren desert that looked awesome. Gigantic orange mountains, blue skies, it was beautiful.

The ranch itself however…was anything but.

First off, the ranch was made out wood. Really OLD LOOKIN' wood. Like, a termites Plaza Hotel. There was also a long fence around it to keep the cattle in.

So, Sam, Tucker, Dash, and I were watching this one guy wrestle a cow. We were sitting on the fence with front row seats to the action. The guy roped a lasso around the cow and the cow was pulling him. The guy slid on the ground by his butt, trying to slow the cow down.

"My ass hurts just watching" I said.

"Are you kidding?" Tucker asked. "This is fantastic"

The cowboy then jumped on top of the horse and grabbed it by the ears…or horns…or something, wrestling it to the ground.

"I wonder if I could do that to Paulina?" Dash said.

"Dash, forget about it already" I said.

"I could do it" he said. "I mean, you've seen her ears"

* * *

Two guys then came into the ranch in a pick-up truck.

"Hey" Sam said. "They must be the others"

Now, I must say something. Tucker was wearing a black jacket with his father's job logo on the back of it. His father ran a large chain of sporting goods stores all across New Jersey. Foley's sports Emporium, it was called.

"Are you sure you wanna wear that Jacket, Tuck?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know, it's got your name, your phone number, even your fathers picture on it. It's a little grotesque"

"My father and I are proud of his job"

"So's the president" said Sam. "He doesn't wear his name on a jacket"

The two men walked up to us. One was fat and had glasses on. The other one was skinny and also had glasses on. Both were bald.

"Hi there" the fat one said.

"Hi" I said. "Danny Fenton"

"Sam Manson" said Sam

"Tucker Foley, son of Robert Foley, owner of Foley's Sports Emporium"

"Yeah" the skinny one said. "I think I paid a visit to one of your dad's stores. Nice jacket"

"Hi" Dash said surprisingly cheerful. "I'm Dash Baxter. I cheated on my girlfriend. Lost my friends and respect and all of my dignity"

The two men gave him blank stares.

"His jacket's being made" I said.

"Well," the fat one said. "I'm Nick and this is Alfred."

"Oh, Nick and Alfred. Just like the ice cream" said Sam.

"Yeah" said the skinny one, Alfred. "That's us. We make Nick and Alfred Ice Cream"

"Really?" I asked. "I love that ice cream. But on the commercial it's another Nick and Alfred. It's two…uh…"

"Good looking guys" Nick said. "If it were us, would you eat?"

* * *

Another guy came up to us on a horse. He was wearing a vest and a cowboy hat.

"G'morning" he said. "Name's Rusty Cactus. I know it's an odd name, but I see we have a Dash and an Alfred here. So I'm not alone. So, welcome to the ranch. Believe it or not, you are gonna be doing work around here. But you are gonna have the best 2 weeks of your lives here. Now, if you came out here thinking that this was just a dude ranch, you are very mistaken. This is a real workin' ranch, not pretend. Now, you might find yourselves acting like pigs on roller skates for a while, but we're gonna train you, get ya ready. And in just a few days, you're gonna be finding yourselves in some country that's as pretty as heaven. Now, here are your guides, Brodie and T.S."

Two other guys came up on horses. They looked to be at least a year older than me.

"They're gonna help you all around here until the trail boss comes in a few days. Now, listen. We're gonna go to work tomorrow morning. And I mean WORK. You came out here city slickin' teenagers, you're gonna be going home cowboys."

* * *

So, for the next few days me and the entire class were walking funny. No one could figure out why until Dash came back to the ranch one day with a horseshoe print on his ass. Yes, we had a lot of trouble riding the horses…and lassoing them…and walking towards them…ok, we sucked. But the next few days or so, we really started to improve a lot.

Well…

Except me…

* * *

"You did it again" I said, seeing Tucker lasso a fake cow perfectly for about the billionth time.

"It's really easy" he said. "Wrist, wrist, wrist, throw"

So I tried…AGAIN. And I failed…AGAIN.

"Everyone can do it but you" he said. "It's embarrassing"

"I'm rope impaired" I said. "I couldn't even successfully tie my shoes until I was like 8"

Dash then came up to us.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey" Tuck and I said.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh nothing" he said. "I just watched two guys castrate a horse"

Insert really long awkward silence.

"Well, I'm hungry. How about you?" I asked.

I then saw Sam being confronted by Brodie and T.S.

"Do you see what's going on?" I asked, making Dash and Tuck turn towards Sam's direction.

"Do you need any help, miss?" Brodie asked, trying to be smooth.

"No, I'm fine" Sam said.

"Are you sure?" T.S. said, inching closer to Sam.

"Look, just leave me alone" she said, not interested at all.

"I'll take the one on the right" Dash said.

"No, wait" I said. "We are guests here. I will take care of it"

I walked over to Sam and the two douchebags near her.

"Hey guys" I said. "Hey Sam, you wanna come over here and, uh, rope with us?"

"Sure, Dann…" she started. But the two schmucks blocked her from me.

"Actually, I think she'll stay with us" Brodie said.

"Look guys" I said. "This isn't exactly behavior that one should perform near a lady, right?"

Brodie then gave me an evil look.

"You stepped on my foot" he growled.

"He did not, you horses ass" Tucker said, finding his way over here.

"What you wanna start something?" Brodie said.

"Anytime, Zeke" Tuck said.

Brodie was about to land a punch on Tucker's jaw bone when a rope came out of what appeared to be nowhere and lassoed around Brodie's neck, choking Brodie. The sudden surprise made Sam jump and hide her head in my chest. I blushed, but I didn't notice. I was also in fear of the man wielding the lasso.

He was on top of a horse. He had a brown cowboy hat on, covering white hair. He had dark red eyes and wrinkly skin. He looked to be 65. I didn't notice it at first, but the inside of my mouth got really cold.

_No, it couldn't be_. I thought. _Nah…

* * *

_

The man got down from the horse and untied Brodie.

"I think you owe her an apology" he said to Brodie.

Brodie then shook his head "no".

The man then threw his knife onto the ground, striking the ground right in front of Brodie's crotch.

"AHHH!" Brodie screamed. "I'M SORRY MISS, IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!"

"Yeah, see that it doesn't" I muttered.

The man then picked up his knife and walked away.

Sam and I stared at him in awe.

"Did you see that?" I asked. "That had to be the toughest person I've seen in my entire life"

"Uh…Danny?" Sam said.

"Yeah?"

"You can let go of me now"

I then realized that I was still hugging Sam. I quickly let go.

"Sorry about that" I said.

"That's alright" Sam said, blushing. "That was actually brave of you. Standing up to those two creeps back there. Thanks"

She then kissed my cheek and walked away, smiling.

I smiled too and placed my hand on my cheek where she kissed me.

"Real smooth, pardner" Tucker said, apparently watching the whole thing.

Way to ruin my moment, Tuck…

* * *

Later on at night around the campfire, me and the gang were eating around the campfire.

"Man, those guys were jerks" Sam said.

"Yeah, but Dan took care of it" Tucker said sarcastically.

"Well, what made it worse was the trail boss came over" I said.

"Who?" Alfred said. "St. Jimmy?"

I looked at the trail boss who was hitching up his horse.

"His name is St. Jimmy?" I asked. "Perfect. A 65 year old Green Day fan"

"You know what I heard?" Dash said. "Heard he killed a man in a knife fight."

"Slit him from neck to nuts" Nick said.

"This guy's a cowboy" Tucker said. "One of the last real men of America. He's untamed, like a wild stallion. We're trained ponies. It'd do us good to be with him"

"Do us good?" I asked. "He was hanging the help"

"He was helping us"

"I don't trust this guy" I said, not hearing cowboy boots walking up behind me. "This guy is not normal. Did you see his eyes? He's got crazy eyes. He's a maniac. I'm telling you we are going into the desert with a lunatic. He's behind me isn't he?"

Everyone nodded.

"Time to turn in" St. Jimmy said, smoking a cigar.

"Good night" everyone but Sam said, walking away.

I sighed and turned around looking at Jimmy.

"Hey" I said, smiling. "I…uh…didn't mean that. I…"

"I shit bigger than you" St. Jimmy said. Then he walked away.

I looked at Sam who had a worried look on her face. I then replied with one thing.

"He's gonna kill me"

* * *

MY GOD! This had to be the longest chapter I've ever written for a story! You guys better like this. Read and review!  
PhantomAL 


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